interwar: do you ever just look at children of couples in films or television shows and go no you are genetically impossible that is not a dominant allele
bullied: 90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.
cleverstarkidurl: when people complain about great gatsby spoilers THE BOOK HAS BEEN OUT FOR 88 YEARS
shedisenchants: shedisenchants: so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night you guys think I’m joking??
Ellen is the best doctor in the universe.
She’s uber pretty and clever too!
10 Hotel Secrets from Behind the Front Desk
mentalflossr: Jacob Tomsky has worked on the front lines of hotels for more than a decade, and he has some hospitality secrets to spill.
7th Grade me: I will never smoke weed in my life
12th grade me: bruh
passion: shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? hot as balls
mattbellamysfolds: “if i’m a person of color, i’m allowed to hate white people!!!!’ “if i’m gay, i’m allowed to hate straight people!!!!” “if i’m a woman, i’m allowed to hate men!!!” “if i’m trans*, i’m allowed to hate cis people!!!”
cannibalisticmeasures asked: No shit, I've actually watched it all.
spainstateofmind: thebadwolf: Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful. you can go fuck yourself
understandablydumb: the guy on the radio just said “gas prices aren’t so bad if you consider you’re really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs” and my perspective on life is forever changed
veryghostlythoughts: Today while at work a guy came in and brought 10 dozen eggs. After I gave him his change and the last bag of eggs he looked at me with the most serious expression ever and said “eggcellent” before walking away and I swear in that moment I had never been happier to sell a man eggs
tapdancers: How To Make Cake In A Mug! (NO MICROWAVE OR OVEN NEEDED) Just follow these steps: Buy a FUCKING CAKE FUCKIGN SMASH THE THING INTO A MUG EAT IT AL LAT ONCE
Using big words won’t help your cause. Making up hard to pronounce, often negative words won’t help your cause. Throwing around big words (especially the mean ones) make you seem like a crazy, overactive, and hard to get along with person. Using simple language and approaching a situation calmly and with a teensy bit of passive agression can REALLY help your cause. Remember, the...